09/22/25: Added some content into the 'Fiction' section of the site, as well as added a 'Hobbies' section. Thought it would be cool to post art, specifically sketches/unfinished pieces, studies, etc while I work towards becoming a more competent illustrator/artist. Struck with the stabbing feeling of embarrasement at doing that. Thought about posting same materials onto existing social media and felt an even harsher stab. I am lucky enough to be mutuals with a number of highly accomplished artists (some who I am admittedly envious of), as well as a number of friends I know in real life, and the idea of being seen trying is very embarrasing. I applied for a promotion at my place of work and didn't get the job. No one treats me differently, but I am often discomforted that these people I work with every day, my supervisors, my coworkers, some who I confessed to about applying, others who spoke amongst each other about it, the coworker who I spoke to the day of my interview to tell management I've arrived, know that I failed. They see that I have not advanced. They watched me stutter and shake through the interview. Some granted me neutral faces, other placating smiles. But they saw me fail. How humiliating. I know I need to try but I desperately hate trying. I want to be someone else.